First interaction with my birth mother. - Graybeard Outdoors
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post #1 of 45 (permalink) Old 11-19-2019, 09:45 PM Thread Starter
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Default First interaction with my birth mother.

Bare with me here and please take this as a sincere post asking for life wisdom here.
I was adopted at birth and had as good of upbringing as one could ask for. In the last couple of years my wife has been active on Ancesrty.com and we did the DNA testing. Well after 64 for years that lead to the first specific knowledge of my bio parents. My bio father passed in 2012 but my mother is alive and apperently quite well at 84. Through a bio cousin through Ancestry it has been arranged for me to call her tomorrow evening and she is apparently really looking forward to it. If all goes well we plan to travel to meet her in early December.
Anyone else here been through something like this? It is both exciting and scary at the same time.
GuzziJohn

Last edited by GuzziJohn1; 11-19-2019 at 09:58 PM. Reason: spelling
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post #2 of 45 (permalink) Old 11-19-2019, 09:53 PM
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Well, this is a call that doesn't have a solid answer.
I would trust my gut after the phone call.
I haven't a clue how you feel in regards to a first time meeting of your biological mother. I have nothing even close to compare.
I can only wish you luck.

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post #3 of 45 (permalink) Old 11-19-2019, 09:59 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the "luck" wish, appreciated.
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post #4 of 45 (permalink) Old 11-19-2019, 10:08 PM
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Just be sure to thank her for doing her best to make sure you were well taken care of.

After that it's all blessing if she wants to be part of your life.

Wife was adopted and has not met or spoken with her birth mother. She has so much loyalty to her parents that it causes her feelings of guilt to pursue contacting her. It's very personal. Not too much time left to do it as she is getting old. She knows her name and where she once worked. Long retired now. Time is our biggest challenge.

God Bless,

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post #5 of 45 (permalink) Old 11-19-2019, 10:15 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you Dave.
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post #6 of 45 (permalink) Old 11-19-2019, 11:25 PM
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People have been doing this Ancestry DNA thing recently. At least you expected a result, as you knew you were adopted. I have spoken to people that learned that their "dad" wasn't their father, and situations like that. It can be very difficult.

I'm not sure what to say or what advice I can give. People have reasons and face circumstances that makes them make hard decisions. There have to be regrets, and lots of forgiveness is the good path. I will pray for you and your wife. At this stage of the game, I would be careful not to let this change who you are, I'm guessing that you are a good man just the way you were before this. JeffG

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post #7 of 45 (permalink) Old 11-19-2019, 11:43 PM
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Good luck with the outcome.

I'm honestly not sure what I'd have done in the situation you face. I "think" I'd likely not have wanted to meet someone who gave me up at birth. BUT, big but, without knowing the circumstances of why that decision was made you never know if it all was for the best.

Let us know how it turns out. Our politics are as far apart as can be but our humanity is pretty much the same.

As I said I'm not at all sure how I'd have handled the situation you are facing.



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post #8 of 45 (permalink) Old 11-20-2019, 10:41 AM
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Our daughter, who is now 29 years old, has never voiced any wish to meet her birth mother.
She resents being given away.

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post #9 of 45 (permalink) Old 11-20-2019, 10:47 AM Thread Starter
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Most of my life I gave little thought to my birth mother/family. Now with the recent opportunity it seems like the thing to do. Both of my adoptive parents and my in-law parents are dead so it is like I have been giving the opportunity to have a mother again. Learning the situation surrounding my conception it appears my mother did the right thing giving me up at the time. I lay no blame on her but actually thankfulness.
Have also found out that I have four live half siblings on my father's side. Like this whole new world of family in unveiling itself.
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post #10 of 45 (permalink) Old 11-20-2019, 11:16 AM
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Remember that, biology does not a mother make.

You've stated that you had a good rasin, so keep in mind that your now deceased "mother" and "father" made good decisions, and put the time, and effort in to bring you to the present.

As to the siblings, that is a different tale, and could also be perilous.

"REPUBLIC OF TEXAS"!
To The Politician: if your not right with God, your not right for this country.
Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty

Last edited by Dee; 11-20-2019 at 11:21 AM.
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