Suckers now born every 11.9 seconds - Graybeard Outdoors
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old 12-11-2019, 12:43 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
tdoyka's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: windber, pa
Posts: 1,906
Send a message via MSN to tdoyka
Default Suckers now born every 11.9 seconds

satire for those who can't see it

Suckers now born every 11.9 seconds: scientist
1 hour ago GENESIUS TIMES: Doreen Tipton

A sucker is now born every 11.9 seconds, a new study in Science shows.

“Americans who haven’t opened a book on history, math, science or literature since high school have taken comfort in the idea that there is a ‘sucker born every minute,’ as noted by physicist P.T. Barnum in 1880,” said Dr. Sue Zuki in an event held in Greenwich, England, on top of the actual line which exists on the Earth to help humans tell the time.

In an inexplicable coincidence, the “Hockey Graph” used to illustrate the increasing number of Suckers being born almost identically mirrors the “Climate Change Graph.”

“In fact, when Barnum calculated the Sucker:Time ratio in 1880, the Earth’s population was 1.5 billion people. Now that global population is over 7.5 billion, suckers are being born at a rate of one every fifteen seconds.”

Mathematicians and marketing professionals represent this apocalyptic increase in the number of living suckers as the ‘hockey stick graphic,’ because humanity now possesses roughly the same I.Q. as a hockey player who has played an entire regular season without a helmet.

As evidence that a sucker is now born every 11.9 seconds, Zuki presented recent media coverage of commonly held beliefs including:

Politicians from around the globe, working together, can control the temperature of the Earth so long as they have enough tax dollars;
Jeffrey Epstein killed himself;
Toddlers can and should decide what gender they are, and should then be drugged accordingly;
Marijuana has medical benefits found in no other tested drugs;
Ridesharing companies can operate more cheaply and more safely than taxi companies which have been doing this for a century, and you should immediately invest in their stock; and,

“All that was great in the past was ridiculed, condemned, combated, suppressed — only to emerge all the more powerfully, all the more triumphantly from the struggle.”
― Nikola Tesla
tdoyka is offline  
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Graybeard Outdoors forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome