Stimulus checks - Graybeard Outdoors
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-05-2020, 09:43 AM Thread Starter
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Default Stimulus checks

Just got this in my email. Maybe you know this; maybe you don’t:
Sometime this year, we taxpayers will likely receive an economic
stimulus.

It is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q&A
format:

Q: *What is an Economic Stimulus?*
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.


Q: *Where will the government get this money?*
A: From the taxpayer.

*Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money, then?*
A: No, only a smidgen of it.


*Q: What is the purpose of this payment?*
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition
television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.


Q: *Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?*
A: Shut up.


Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with
your stimulus check. Use it wisely:


* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart, the money will go to China or
Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, the money will go to the Arabs. (not so much
any more…)
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan, or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras,
and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off or buy stock, it will go to management
bonuses and they will hide it offshore.


Instead, *keep the money in America by:*


(1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
(2) Going to a ballgame, or
(3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)


CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a
yard sale and drink beer all day.


No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.

NRA Life Member
NRA Certified Range Safety Officer.
Before you get into a discussion:
https://thebestschools.org/magazine/...noratioelenchi
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-05-2020, 09:51 AM
Dee
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LMAO! I feel "compelled" to thank you.

"REPUBLIC OF TEXAS"!
To The Politician: if your not right with God, your not right for this country.
Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty
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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-05-2020, 10:22 AM
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And don't forget that come next tax season they will take back a share of what they gave ya when it's time to file income tax for 2020.



Bill aka the Graybeard


I am not a lawyer and do not give legal advice.

JESUS is the way, the truth, and the life anyone who believes in Him will have everlasting life!
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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-05-2020, 10:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graybeard View Post
And don't forget that come next tax season they will take back a share of what they gave ya when it's time to file income tax for 2020.
Provided you HAVE an income this year to tax. 🙂

"REPUBLIC OF TEXAS"!
To The Politician: if your not right with God, your not right for this country.
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-05-2020, 11:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee View Post
Provided you HAVE an income this year to tax. 🙂
Amen to that, I never thought I would be getting ready to call asking to pay my bills later, But maybe IF I get a check I hope to have the fortitude, To see a Nightforce in my future. Figure it will be the only way I could convince my self that it would be ok to buy one in the first place. Being the boss sucks no unemployment for me. I'll bet this will raise all employers unemployment rates to the top percentage, another part they just forgot to mention, They will get it back one way or the other. And we all will pay it
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-05-2020, 11:43 AM
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Darkgael in a time when a laugh is better than any pill a doctor could give you. thank you . for all the members I hope and pray you are safe , happy , and well D Crockett
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-05-2020, 10:45 PM
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Going elk hunting. A couple horse wranglers, and CPW will eat that pretty quickly I’m afraid. And I’m good with that.


I need a kinder gentler machine gun

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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-05-2020, 10:50 PM
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VISA already has all of mine...
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-07-2020, 11:19 AM
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They closed down yard sales....
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 04-07-2020, 11:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Graybeard View Post
And don't forget that come next tax season they will take back a share of what they gave ya when it's time to file income tax for 2020.
I already told my wife that we will just put it into savings so it's there to give back to them next year.
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