When your kids put you in a rest home who will come visit you Conan?
I go to "rest" homes all the time. With few exceptions, kids almost never come to visit the inmates. The successful old timers are the ones that build a good network of people who actually do them some good. Siblings are the ones that seem to do people the most good, up to a point. After that point, they die or become too infirm themselves. The kids very often do manage the money. Very often with a good deal of selfishness. That's the reality.
Kids effectively murdering their parents by having the meds adjusted so that the parents can't function mentally is very common. The senior is kept in a vegetative state, unable to handle finances or any decisions for years. It's very very common, and the laws favor the perps. That's what elder law is. It's not about protecting the elderly, it's about distributing the estates of the elderly and making sure that the lawyers get their cut.
Another angle: Why be so selfish as to expect your children to come visit you regularly? They have their own lives and concerns. Even the most enthusiastic adult child doesn't want much to do with their parents unless the parents are providing a free service like day care. Once institutionalized the parents become a severe burden. The only alternative is to be of a culture, like the Hmong, where it is traditional and customary for the elderly to live with one of the children, such as the family of the youngest son. Rural Ireland is similar, and there are economical elder daycare services that pickup and return the senior to home, where they live with their kids, but are cared for while their kids are working. We're expensive and barbarous in many ways in this country.
The most enthusiastic family I know of has three daughters that regularly see one of the elders. That amounts to about one to two hours on one weekday per week, and about five hours on most Sundays. That's about 4 percent of the week. Not much.