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searching for my birth parents

8K views 27 replies 20 participants last post by  ironglow 
#1 ·
No, it’s not hunting per se, but there is such a diverse sampling of viewers here that I thought perhaps someone here may be able to help me. I am looking for my birth family.
I was born approximately September 14, 1964 in Louisiana and baptized as Andrew at St. John Berchmans in Shreveport, Louisiana. The law firm of Mansour and Lauve of Alexandria, Louisiana handled the legalities. A Catholic Charities caseworker named Eleanor Byrnes brought me to San Antonio, TX to be picked up and adopted on September 24, 1964. They gave me a great home and a solid foundation. We may not have had much money, but we were rich in many other and more important ways. Anyway, I am having serious health issues, and some may be hereditary, which concerns me regarding our 3 children. I’d love to get my medical history as it could be a great help, but – after taking the advice of my wonderful Mom -- I’d also welcome and cherish the opportunity to meet my birth parents, even if it is just to tell them “Thank you” for giving me the gift of life. The photo below is not the most current of me but the best I could find at the moment.
Thanks in advance,
 
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#2 ·
Difficult situation, If you are a male you can sign-up for a Y-DNA test at FTDNA.COM which could match you up with the male line of your father. They also offer a Family Finder test that will identify close family, cousins back to 4th or 5th cousins on both your mother and father's sides. The Family Finder test is for both males and females. They also offer a MTDNA test to identify the mother's female line only.
The tests are normally used for genealogy research, but in your case it might help identify your birth family.
 
#6 ·
:) Howdy! You might think about hiring a private investigator. They can put clues together and use it to find people. I used a PI once and they found the person I was needing to contact. Cost only $190.00. Best of luck! Always, Gene
 
#7 ·
The simplest and most direct way of finding ones birth parents (assuming that you have their names) Is to start tracking you ancestors. They advertise one on TV, but I cannot recall the name and there is the center in Salt Lake City , Utah which has the largest data base in the USA. Good Luck. It took me seven years to find my birth mother, but she was on her third husband. You can also start tracking them by checking birth and death, and drivers licenses in each State.
Brodie
 
#10 ·
Mrs. was adopted and wondered about searching for her birth parents all her life. She knew what hospital she was born at and was told that her mother was only 17 yrs old. That was it zip else. Well she had a DNA test done that showed up two third cousins with several names overlapping between the family trees. In three days I narrowed down the common great great grandparents and worked the tree back to everybody. It took 4 days for me to narrow down the facts to her father. Found her father on the left coast, and that he had past away a few years earlier.

Tips, get a DNA test through a place like Ancestry.com. Then when the results come up, check the closest DNA matches' family trees. Now comes the tedious part. For third cousins, you share the same great great grandparents. You have 32 great great grand parents, 16, on Mom's side and 16 on Dad's side, (with some occasional overlap) That means you have a lot of their ancestors to sift through. Ancestry will permit you to see who also matches you and the other match. Check their family trees for common names. When checking my wife's matches' trees I found two names in common for many of the matches. So I started a family tree beginning back at the GGGG grandparents and then worked forward. When I came upon an entry marked "private" I looked up the parent's obituaries for surviving relatives to fill in blanks. Then I went to internet searches and newspaper archives searches for living people. My wife has two brothers and two sisters listed in their father's obituary. By checking facebook (even with privacy settings), sites like been verified, Linkden, etc. I was able to see about how old they were, where they lived and even the names of their children and relatives. The fact that I can do this from my desk is both scary and gratifying.

In the search for my wife's mother, we are still looking. The closest DNA matches on the maternal side are 4th cousins, which means comparing great great great grandparents. That means searching through potentially 64 GGG grandparents. Some of the family trees posted did not even go back that far. So I had to do the research and complete the family tree of some DNA matches back to GGG grandparents, find common names and then begin working forward. As it is now, I have located four most probable of the 64. Of the total 1,059 DNA matches, approximately 60% of them related to the father's predominantly Catholic side. Of the remaining 400+, those two sets of GGG grandparents can be traced down to about 35% of the remaining 400+ matches. I am still going through the work of extending the family trees to find other common relatives. But since, Ancestry reports DNA matches to as remote as 8th cousins, I could have ten thousand people to sort through. I devote an hour or two every day to sorting though things and hope perhaps one day a closer relative will come up as a new DNA Match.
 
#11 ·
My adopted cousin DNA tested with Ancestry. After a lot of work over the last few months, I've been able to identify her birth parents. If she had tested at 23&Me we would have identified her mother immediately, as her 1/2 sister had tested there. They say to test all 3 major companies and download to GEDmatch. You'll almost certainly be able to find them. Maybe with help. There are some really good Facebook Groups for adoptees searching for parents.
 
#12 ·
Try testing at 23&Me and also uploading DNA to GEDMatch and FTDNA. My adopted cousin tested at Ancestry. Through 3rd and 4th cousin matches, it took a few months and I've identified both of her birth parents. BUT - had she tested at 23&Me also, we'd have known her mother right away because her 1/2 sister tested there!
 
#13 ·
I was adopted at birth but I always knew who and where my family was. I knew the name and location and just chased down the family name in the location that I knew by phone. Ancestry.com should give you all the info you need to find your birth family. Have you looked at your birth certificate for your mothers name?

mike
 
#14 ·
Last year, I laid my elder brother to rest (a Korean War vet). We took the opportunity of the family reunion to bury his ashes.
We had a guest of interest at the reunion... a lady who was his "love child" from his late teenage years.
Of course, she met her brother (1/2 brother) for the first time!
I don't know the full details, but she found her heritage through "23&me"..and it was not difficult..
 
#18 ·
Our daughter grew up knowing she was adopted.
And she has shown no desire to find her birth parents.
 
#20 ·
Tell them when they are young enough to understand, my cousin was adopted, she was never told and when she was around 16 she found out more by accident that she was adopted and for the next few months it was a very trying time for the family caused a lot of problems.
Deaconllb
 
#25 ·
I was adopted at 3 months. I always knew I was adopted. My opinion that was the way to go. I waited until my Mother and Father had passed as not to hurt them. I never though of finding anything about the people that birthed me.
However because of medical reasons I did find out I had 7 half sibilings on one side and 1 half sibling on the other side. Have met 6 and have been accepted. They are all wonderful people. If anyone has any questions you are welcome to send me a PM.
 
#26 ·
Interesting, as far as keeping the earth clothes chugging along as lone as we are here, i suppose it is ok, our spirit is created as soon as G-d says "I knew you in the womb", and that is what carries on when the earth clothes are left behind. That's the way I get it anyway, I know in ours there was a chance someone might have "jumped over the fence", giving our family tree and branch to another, in the Darwinian paradigm.

Glad your meeting went well.

best wishes
 
#27 ·
My brother's son is from Vietnam. His daughter is from China. The two kids are intelligent and talented beyond words. My brother asked his son if he had ever thought about just going to Vietnam to visit. He said No, that he was an American and wasn't any small bit Vietnamese anymore. Both kids are fiercely American in their thinking, and both are hard-core conservatives...
 
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