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  Topic Review (Newest First)
11-14-2019 12:22 AM
old scar probably a good idea...
11-13-2019 08:29 PM
ironglow
Quote:
Originally Posted by old scar View Post
How old is the dog?
He's about 12..and has never asked....He sleeps quite a bit...so should I just "let sleeping dogs lie"?

.
11-13-2019 08:43 AM
old scar How old is the dog?
08-04-2019 07:52 PM
ironglow
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcbammer View Post
Should you wait until a child is grown before revealing they are adopted or tell them when they are young ?
Right now, I am struggling with such a case... At what age should I tell my dog that he was adopted?

….Sorry..an attempt to lighten up a heavy discussion..

.
07-30-2019 05:53 PM
DEACONLLB Tell them when they are young enough to understand, my cousin was adopted, she was never told and when she was around 16 she found out more by accident that she was adopted and for the next few months it was a very trying time for the family caused a lot of problems.
Deaconllb
07-30-2019 03:43 PM
hornetguy
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcbammer View Post
Thanks for the input , My sister adopted a baby boy and and told him at a young age he was adopted , I suggested that they wait until he was older . seems I was wrong .

The reason I say that is personal experience. My older brother and I are bio brothers, adopted when he was around 3 and I was around 1 yr old. Our bio mother was divorced and had three small kids to try to care for (in the 50's). She put my bro and me in a children's home, where we were placed as foster kids, then adopted. She was ok with the adoption, after learning how well we were doing with our foster parents.


We were told almost from the beginning that we were adopted, and were told that our bio mother loved us enough to want us to have the very best life possible.... so we grew up knowing that she allowed it because she loved us.


Our parents also told us, as we got older, that any time we wanted to try to find her, they would help us. This, of course, was well into our teen years, when we could make a semi-informed decision about what we wanted. We both had little desire to find her... not from a lack of love, or interest, more from a sense of contentment in the status quo.


I have talked to quite a few other adoptees, whose parents chose to not tell them until they were older, and without fail, they all spoke of a sense of betrayal. Most of them worked their way through it, but not all of them did.


Of course, this is still an individual thing, and there is no cut and dried "method" that works every time. I've just personally seen greater success being open as early as possible with the child.
07-29-2019 05:26 PM
bugeye Our daughter grew up knowing she was adopted.
And she has shown no desire to find her birth parents.
07-29-2019 04:27 PM
mcbammer
Quote:
Originally Posted by hornetguy View Post
No. I don't think that is a healthy way to "inform" a child. A young child is much more open to that concept, before he/she grows up thinking they are biologically a part of the family, only to have the revelation dumped on them that they were adopted.


Earlier is better.
Thanks for the input , My sister adopted a baby boy and and told him at a young age he was adopted , I suggested that they wait until he was older . seems I was wrong .
07-29-2019 04:04 PM
hornetguy
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcbammer View Post
Should you wait until a child is grown before revealing they are adopted or tell them when they are young ?

No. I don't think that is a healthy way to "inform" a child. A young child is much more open to that concept, before he/she grows up thinking they are biologically a part of the family, only to have the revelation dumped on them that they were adopted.


Earlier is better.
06-09-2019 03:52 PM
mcbammer Should you wait until a child is grown before revealing they are adopted or tell them when they are young ?
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