Williamlayton, God bless you in seeking the truth. The matter of belief is really a matter of trust(faith). Its one thing to believe in God, but it is definitely quite another thing to place one's trust or faith in God. We must be in complete agreement with God in our relationship with Him in order to have faith in Him.
First we must realize the holiness and righteousness of God. God cannot tolerate sin, or unrighteousness. He cannot have anything or anyone sinful in His presence. The Bible calls him a consuming fire of holiness Hebrews 12:29. Only those who are righteous shall stand in the presence of God. Its true that God is a God of love, but He is also holy and must judge all things in righteousness.
Next we must realize our own standing with God. God has given us the very standard of righteousness that He will use to judge every man when they die. It is by this standard whether or not we will be counted as righteous. That standard is His holy law-- Ten Commandments(Exodus 20).
So ask yourself "have I kept the Ten Commandments". Let's go thru some of them.
Have you ever told a lie? If so, this violates the 9th commandment, Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. So what does this make you if you tell a lie? A liar. God's word says that all liars shall have their part in the Lake of Fire.
Have you ever stolen something regardless of the value, or how small or when you were a child? If so this violates the 6th Commandment, "Thou shalt not steal". This makes you a thief, and the Bible says no thief shall enter the kingdom of God. The value of the thing stolen or the color of the lie told does not matter to God, its the fact that you were willing to do these things in your heart.
Have you ever used God's name in vain? The Bible calls this blasphemy and God says He will hold no one guiltless who uses His name in vain. This violates the 3rd Commandment.
Lets look at one more, have you ever looked at a woman with lust? Of course we all have, But Listen to what Jesus says in Matthew 5:27, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart". This violates the 7th Commandment "Thou shalt not commit adultery". God not only looks at our actions, but He sees what's in our hearts.
If you answered yes to these questions, then by your own admission, you are a lying thief, and an adulterous blasphemer in your heart. This is how God sees us-- lawbreakers. His wrath abides on you and the Bible says that you are an enemy to Him by your sin. Who of us can say that we never broken even one of God's laws? None of us, and the Bible says that if we even break just one we are guilty of breaking the whole Law(James 2:10)
So if you were to suddenly die, and God judged you by this standard, would you be innocent or guilty? Of course we would all be guilty. Would you go to Heaven or ****? If you say Heaven, why? God cannot overlook sin. God must be a righteous and holy judge. If He were to overlook your sin He would topple from His throne of holiness. The truth is you'd end up in ****. God must punish sin. Does this concern you? It certainly concerns me, I don't want you to go to ****.
So what are we to do? We are all guilty and **** bound sinners. How can we escape? This is where the matter of trusting God comes in. God out of His mercy and love for you, made a way for you to escape **** and be found righteous on the day of Judgment.
God loves you so much that He sent Jesus to take your place and receive the punishment that you deserve for your sin. Jesus stepped down from Heaven, became a man, and gave up His lifes blood in a cruel, horrible, death on the cross to take your punishment for your sin upon Himself and satisfy God's wrath against you. Then He rose from the dead so that you can have eternal life. Jesus ioffers to you HIs righteousness. Jesus is the only person who has ever lived a sinless life and is able to satisfy the demands of God's holy Law. Jesus offers to you HIs righteousness so that you can be found righteous on Judgment Day.
Do you know how to receive that righteousness? It is by repentance and trusting in Him. To repent means to turn away from sin. Turn away from all the sin in your life and heart and turn fully to God and His will for you. Surrender yourself to God, turn away from sin. Put all of your faith and trust upon Jesus death on the cross. Fully depend on His death to satisfy God's wrath against you.
The Bible says that the instant you repent and place your trust in Jesus Christ, God will give you a new heart with new desires. He will transform and change you from the inside out. His Holy Spirit will take up residence in your heart. It is a change that is so radical that Jesus called it being born again. This is what it means to be saved. Being saved means that the Holy Spirit of God lives inside of you, and on the day of Judgment, God will see Jesus's righteousness instead of your sin. Jesus told a very religious and faithful man that He must be born again to enter the kingdom of God.
I want to ask you, are you born again? Does God's Spiirit live in your heart? I'm not asking if you prayed to receive Christ, or went to an alter call, I'm asking does the Holy Spirit live within you? This is what it means to believe. It's a matter of trust.
If you are unsure whether or not you are born again, all you have to do is go to God and talk to Him about it. There are no special words or prayers to say, just pour your heart out to Him. He will hear you.
I urge you if you aren't born again, don't wait another second to get right with God. We never know when we might die and be lost for all eternity. If you have any questions feel free to e-mail me I will be glad to answer them.
Sam